Saying goodbye to Kitty

The past two weeks have been really hard for me. For those who read my post about the Raya visitor, would know that a lovely kitten came into our lives for a short stay while the owner went for her Raya holidays. Periodically after that, Kitty would be sent over when the owner had to work late or travel and these stays were very much welcome as Kitty breathed new life into our home, even though she was here for short visits.

She was very much a boisterous kitten, curious as ever, sniffing out corners and under cushions and following Agent L almost everywhere she went. Agent S who found her a threat in the beginning started to tolerate her and both Agent S and Kitty kept Agent L busy.

Kitty would pounce on Agent L and annoy Agent S by trying to catch his tail. She was bright eyed and spunky but would sometimes stare out the window into oblivion. She was happiest when playing with Agent L and having a treat of fried fish and milk.

At night, after a day's worth of antics, she wasn't one to snuggle, but she would sit on my side cabinet, just an arm's length away. At dawn, she would start clambering over my limbs and head to get me up to feed her and her friends.

Two weeks ago, Kitty was sent over for a two night stay. She was treated like a little princess, as usual, and all was well till Sunday night.

Hubby and I had come home late after dinner at my in-laws. Hubby dozed off on the couch and I was entertained by the three of them while watching TV.

The smell off their poo suddenly whiffed into the hall and I just had to clean so I let the three of them play at the corridor as they usually do. After about 10 minutes, Agent L and Agent S came back in but there was no sight of Kitty. I called her name and went looking for her and I went into an emergency mode. I've never lost a cat before.

Dread filled me and my worst fears came true. I found Kitty's lifeless body downstairs, intact but bleeding slightly from the mouth. This is the worst feeling I've felt in my entire life. As I write this, I feel the pain searing through me again. I feel so hopeless and I wish I could turn back time and see her playing again and but this is not possible. I still blame myself for the need to clean so late at night. For letting the owner down (though she said these things happen), my husband down and Agent L and Agent S down.

I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself and the only thing that gets me moving forward is knowing that she is in a happier place and hopefully one day, I'll get to see her again.

We miss you so much, Kitty, and you'll always be in our hearts.

Agent L and Kitty